CONCERTS
HOLY LAUGHTER
The Picnic
A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. 'This baked ham is really delicious,' the priest teased the rabbi. 'You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?'
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, 'At your wedding.'
Waking up for Church
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, 'I'm not going.' 'Why not?' she asked. I'll give you two good reasons,' he said. 'One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them.' His mother replied, 'I'll give YOU two good reasons why YOU SHOULD go to church. (1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!'
NOAH
In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said: Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
Noah! He roared, I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark? Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, 'but things have changed.
I needed a building permit.
I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.
We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.
I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'
'No,' said the Lord. 'The government beat me to it.
UNITED STATES MAP
A father wanted to read a magazine but was being bothered by his little
girl, Shelby. She wanted to know what the United States looked like.
Finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on which was printed
the map of the country.
Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Shelby and said, "Go into
the other room and see if you can put this together. This will show you
our whole country today."
After a few minutes, Shelby return to her Dad and handed him the map,
correctly fitted and taped together. The father was surprised and asked
how she had finished so quickly. "Oh," she said, "on the other side of
the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got all of Jesus back where He
belonged, then our country just came together."
Christians by Maya Angelou
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting I'm clean livin'
I'm whispering I was lost,
Now, I'm found and forgiven.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!
There is controversy as to whether or not Maya Angelou originally penned this poem, or re-created this poem. According to Snopes.com Carol Wimmer originally penned this poem in 1988. If you would like to read Carol Wimmer's version, visit http://www.snopes.com/glurge/christian.asp
57 Cents
A sobbing little girl stood near a small church form with she had been turned away because it "was too crowded."
"I can't go to Sunday School," she sobbed to the pastor as he walked by. Seeing her shabby, unkempt appearance, the pastor guessed the reason and, taking her by the hand, took her inside and found a place for her in the Sunday school class.
The child was so touched that she went to bed that night thinking of the children who have no place to worship Jesus.
Some two years later, this child lay dead in one of the poor tenement buildings and the parents called for the kind-hearted pastor, who had befriended their daughter, to handle the final arrangements.
As her poor little body was being moved, a worn and crumpled purse was found which seemed to have been rummaged from some trash dump. Inside was found 57 cents and a note scribbled in childish handwriting which read, "This is to help build the little church bigger so more children can go to Sunday School." For two years she had saved for this offering of love. When the pastor tearfully read that note, he knew instantly what he would do. Carrying this note and the cracked, red pocketbook to the pulpit, he told the story of her unselfish love and devotion. He challenged his deacons to get busy and raise enough money for the larger building. But the story does not end there!
A newspaper learned of the story and published it. It was read by a Realtor who offered them a parcel of land worth many thousands. When told that the church could not pay so much, he offered it for 57 cents.
Church members made large donations. Checks came from far and wide.
Within five years the little girl's gift had increased to $250,000 - a huge sum for that time. Her unselfish love had paid large dividend.
When you are in the city of Philadelphia, look up Temple Baptist Church, Temple University, Temple University Hospital (formerly Good Samaritan Hospital) and Sunday School buildings so that no child in the area will ever need to be left outside during Sunday school time. In one of the rooms of the building, the picture of the sweet face of the little girl whose 57 cents, so sacrificially saved, made such a remarkable history. Alongside is a portrait of her kind pastor, Dr. Russell H. Conwell, author of the book, "Acres of Diamonds."
Amazing what God can do with 57 cents.
http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire423.htm
Grandfather's's Table
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and 4 year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table. But, the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. His son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. "I've had enough of the spilled milk, noisy eating and food on the floor."
So, the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There Grandfather ate alone, while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, he food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye, as he sat along. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions, when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The 4 year old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "what are you doing?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "oh I am making a little bowl for you and Mom to eat food in when I grow up." The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening, the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family. And, for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled or the tablecloth soiled.
Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day the building blocks are being laid for the child's future.
Be wise builders!
Pancakes for God
Little six year old Brandon wanted to fix his parents breakfast one Saturday morning. He rounded up all the ingredients he would need. Brandon got a bowl, flour, sugar, eggs, milk, mixing spoon... and of course, before he knew it the kitchen was becoming a complete mess! Covered in flour, Brandon was starting to get frustrated. He wanted to something very good for his Mom and Dad, but it was getting bad. Then he saw his kitty licking from the pancake bowl, he reached out to push her away, knocking the egg carton on the floor! Frantically trying to clean up before Mom and Dad woke up, Brandon found himself covered in the stickys.
Just then he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But no, his father just watched him. Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process.
That's how God deals with us.
We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend or we can't stand our job or our health goes sour. Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do. That's when God pick us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess get all over Him.
But just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancake," for God or for others. Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...
If you would like a copy of this story, please visit
www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire452.htm
THE EAGLE
The eagle gently coaxed her offspring toward the edge of the nest. Her heart quivered with conflicting emotions as she felt their resistance to her persistent nudging. “Why does the thrill of soaring have to begin with the fear of falling?
As in the tradition of the species, her nest was located high upon the shelf of a sheer rock face. Below there was nothing but air to support the wings of each child. “Is it possible that this time it will not work?” she thought. Despite her fears, the eagle knew it was time. Her parental mission was all but complete. There remained one final task - the push.
The eagle drew courage from an innate wisdom. Until her children discovered their wings, there was no purpose for their lives. Until they learned how to soar, they would fail to understand the privilege of having been born an eagle. The push was the greatest gift she had to offer. It was her supreme act of love. And so, one by one, she pushed them and they flew.
(Excerpt from You Can't Send a Duck to Eagle School)
David McNally, wrote these words in his book, Even Eagles Need A Push. It’s human nature to take the path of least resistance. Although most people truly want to reach their full potential, they don’t always have the initiative and the discipline to get started on their own. One of your greatest responsibilities as a leader is to enable your people to be all they can be. Many times “the push”, with a little encouragement, is all they need.
Always look for opportunities to challenge your best people because many of them are like sticks of dynamite; the power’s on the inside, but nothing happens until the fuse gets lit.
The Obstacle In Our Path
So many times we come up on obstacles in our path. Sometimes we can move around them. Other times we have to overcome them by climbing over them. But what about moving the obstacle out of our path?
In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed in the middle of a roadway. He then watched from a distance to see if anyone would remove the boulder from the roadway to make the path easier for themself and others. Some walked around it. Other blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear. Finally, a peasant came along carrying a heavy load of vegetables. He put down his load and with much strain, finally succeeded in moving the boulder from the roadway. He then noticed a satchel lying in the road where the boulder had been. He opened it up to find a not from the king thanking him for moving the boulder and the gold inside was his to keep.
You see, the peasant learned what many others fail to understand, every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve ones condition!
This past Sunday our feature story was about a 'cracked pot.' You may have one of these in your life! This particular story talked about a water bearer that had two pots on either end of a pole that he carried behind his neck back and forth to a stream each day. One of those pots was cracked. The 'cracked pot' is personified and says that he is ashamed because he can only deliver half his load, because he leaks water coming back from the stream. The water bearer then tells the pot to notice the beautiful flowers along the path home today.
"I have always know about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Sometimes the 'cracks' of others can test our patience, but looking past those 'cracks' to see the good that they can contribute, that is when love abounds. That's is when other can see Christ in you.
For the complete story, please visit
www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire62.htm
